From Surviving To Thriving

"There are all these moments you think you won't survive. And then you survive." - David Levithan

I’m already reflecting on this year as October is in full gear. I’m thinking about how the rest of the year is going to fly by! Homecoming has passed, Halloween next, and then….the holidays! Put your seatbelts on!

I wonder how much of this year I have spent cool calm and collected? Am I enjoying my time here? How much of this past year have I spent in survival mode- what is survival mode? We hear it all the time.

From what I’ve gathered so far, it’s when we are in a constant state of stress, a.k.a. fight/flight/freeze mode. We always feel like we’re problem solving or running from thing to thing. Maybe you have a running list in your head of all the things you must do for work, kids, school, appointments, our own health, relationships. For some, surviving can look like functioning anxiety or depression; functioning but maybe having thoughts of self-harm, living in shame, passive suicidal ideation. It can be any of these. And let’s not forget HUSTLE CULTURE banging at our door the second we open our eyes each day.

It can feel like….living like a feather in the wind waiting for it to swirl you either which way.

So, when we keep on surviving, great! Movement creates grit. We need grit to live in this world. We must find ways to keep going. But at some point we have to decompress, sit with emotions, accept situations, quit resisting, grieve, celebrate, find joy, and RELAX!! This cannot be done in survival mode. Or, when it does it can feel fleeting. Or not enough to fill that cup. It takes intentional work. That’s why therapy can be important. We can learn to live by OUR values, OUR beliefs, OUR meanings in life. Find joy by our own expectations. Unravel all those patterns that no longer serve us- how they came to us, that’s another story. (Stay tuned)

We need someone to see us, witness our emotions, and *actively* listen. But….therapy?

As therapists, we do not just talk all day for a living. We help provide space to process the muck. We need validation. We need to learn how to communicate, seek ways to cope, know when to say sorry and own our stuff. That’s what gets us out of survival mode and sometimes, with hard work, into thriving! It’s so hard to add another task, I get it.

But I promise you we’re out there, ready to work with you, and waiting to hear about all those things you survived.